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You just gotta love on yourself sometimes. One of the easiest and most satisfying way to give back to yourself is free and easy to do at home. That’s right: masturbation is one of the most satisfying ways to practice self-care, relax and treat yourself to a quiet (or not so quiet) night in. And even if you’re a seasoned pro at playing a solo sex concerto, there’s always new ways to jazz up your technique and change up your me-time. Plus, May is Masturbation month — so it’s a particularly great time to celebrate.
Not only is masturbation fun, good for you and super convenient, it can actually perk up your sex life all around: “Women who masturbate are more likely to have orgasms during partnered sex, and we believe that this finding is related to an increase in comfort and knowledge with regard to her body,” says sexologist Dr. Jessica O’Reilly, author of The Little Book of Kink. “By experimenting with different positions, you can discover new pathways to orgasm and stave off the sexual ruts that arise due to repetition and monotony.”
This all totally makes sense when you think about the lasting benefits of getting to know your body and what exactly will get you off in any given situation: You’re way more empowered to take control of your pleasure, whether you’re on your own or with a partner, breaking in a new sex toy or making use of your shower head or something else around the house. You also have the knowledge that you totally can control what makes you feel good and give it to yourself just-because. As sex coach Jenna Switzer tells SheKnows, “There are a myriad of benefits to masturbation including a feel good hormonal bath that the brain douses the body in, a deeper sense of self love, a better understanding of our own pleasure, and, well, amazing orgasms!” You really can’t go wrong.
Why Try New Masturbation Positions?
If you know what works, why bother switching things up? Well, there are a few good reasons to experiment with new masturbation positions. “Aside from the age old adage ‘variety is the spice of life’, trying new masturbation positions gives our body an opportunity to experience new levels of excitement in pleasure,” Switzer explains. And it doesn’t have to be complicated; even simple switches can result in totally different sensations. Given the way gravity impacts blood flow, which Switzer describes as “a crucial source of arousal in your body,” you experience pleasure differently based on your physical orientation. “You will feel the difference when you masturbate on your back vs standing or on your belly,” Switzer says.
Plus, if you struggle with brain chatter when you try to get intimate, you might find that trying new masturbation positions helps to quiet your inner chatter. “Most people, women especially, feel that their biggest obstacle to orgasm is what’s going on in their head,” Switzer explains. “By trying new masturbation positions, your brain will be focused on the novelty of sensation rather than allowing its usual endless stream of thoughts during a routine activity (or in this case, position).”
Tips for Trying New Masturbation Positions
When you’re trying out new masturbation positions, start by “intentionally setting time aside so you won’t be interrupted and you have time to explore,” Switzer says. She also recommends going in with a either a list of new positions (like, say, this article) or a few positions you’ve tried during partnered sex that sound fun to explore by yourself. Know that you might end up moving away from your plan or list of new positions — and that’s OK too. “Plan to adjust based on how your body responds and feels,” Switzer advises.
And remember that any amount of experimentation can lead to fun times and major benefits. “The more freedom you give yourself to explore in your solo pleasure, the deeper your sense of sexual confidence will become and this boosts your self esteem both in and out of the bedroom,” Switzer says.
Interested in changing up, elevating, or spending some more time on your solo play? Read on for a few of our favorite toe-curling masturbation positions and give yourself the gift of a good orgasm.
A version of this story was published January 2014.
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Over the Hump
Image Credit: Becci Burkhart/SheKnows How you do it: Start by lying on the bed on your stomach, using a pillow or two to support your stomach and hips. Use your hands or a toy (or both!) between your body and the pillow to rev things up.
Why it’s awesome: “The pillows angle your hips up, which opens up new sensations. It also uses the tension of your leg muscles, which can feel very different for you,” says Dr. Shanna K. Kattari, a gender and sexuality scholar, associate professor at the University of Michigan School of Social Work, and author of Your Pleasure Map.
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Opening Up
Image Credit: Becci Burkhart/SheKnows How you do it: Sit on a chair that doesn’t have arms, like a dining room or folding chair. Tuck your feet and ankles around the chair legs, leaving your legs open.
Why it’s awesome: “It provides much more access to all of the delicious bits between your legs, and when you climax, you can brace your legs against the chair legs. By exposing more parts of your vulva, you will experience some new — and sometimes even more intense — sensations than you usually do,” Dr. Kattari tells SheKnows.
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The Leg Shaver
Image Credit: Becci Burkhart/SheKnows How you do it: In the shower, place one foot on the side of the tub or shower seat, allowing full open access to your vulva. (If you don’t have anything to prop your foot on, simply lean back against a wall and move one knee to the side.) Use your fingers or use the removable showerhead stream to tease, or pick up your favorite waterproof vibrator for guaranteed orgasms. Or rotate among all three!
Why it’s awesome: “Masturbating while standing is an awesome position style that too many women ignore,” sexologist and relationship expert Dr. Sadie Allison, author of Tickle Your Fancy: A Woman’s Guide to Self-Pleasure, tells SheKnows. “The Leg Shaver not only gives you great access to your vulva and vagina, but it also lends itself to a little leg and core muscle toning, as you need to work a little harder to keep your body weight vertical. This, in turn, naturally flexes your pelvic floor muscles, offering more sensation to the ‘feel-good’ nerves in your genitals’ erectile tissue.”
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Superstar
Image Credit: Becci Burkhart/SheKnows How you do it: Begin on your knees on the bed, or another soft and comfy surface, with your upper body upright. Gently open your knees to a position that feels comfortable for you. Supporting yourself with one arm, you can lean back or lean forward to hold onto a headboard or the wall.
Why it’s awesome: “Because you can modify this in so many ways — changing angles, using multiple toys for penetration and/or external stimulation — you can discover new spots and new things that get your motor going,” Dr. Kattari says. “Leaning forward and back can provide new sensations, and it allows you to open up the rest of your body for exploration and play with your fingers, toys, even nipple clamps. Experiment and have fun!”
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The Solo Snake
Image Credit: Becci Burkhart/SheKnows How you do it: Lie on your stomach and grind your pelvic bone and clitoris against a hand or a vibrating toy beneath you.
Why it’s awesome: You might be shocked at just how good this simple position feels. “The weight of your body adds extra friction against the hood of your clitoris,” Dr. O’Reilly explains, “and the back-and-forth grinding strokes the shaft of your clitoris as it becomes erect.”
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On Your Knees
Image Credit: Becci Burkhart/SheKnows How you do it: Keeping your knees wide open, kneel on the floor or the bed. Use this position to press and ride a firm surface beneath you, like a toy, the mattress, a pillow, or your hand.
Why it’s awesome: “You can rock back and forth, slide forward and backward, or roll the hips in a circular fashion according to your own preferences,” Dr. O’Reilly says. “In this position, the extra blood flow to your pelvic region can help with both arousal and orgasm.”
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Self-lovin’ sex positions
Image Credit: Becci Burkhart/SheKnows
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