When my kids were little, I knew everything that was going on with them — even the tiny, inconsequential stuff. What they ate for lunch, who they played with, which teacher reminded them of a Muppet (yes, really), what they’d constructed in their Minecraft world that day. I didn’t even have to ask. And to be honest, there were times when I wished I had a break from all their information overload.

Then, slowly, the curtain closed. And ironically, now that they’re teenagers, I find myself practically begging for even the littlest detail. “How was school?” I ask, knowing full well the answer will be “fine” — or worse, a dismissive shrug. Even when I switch up my phrasing or wait for the “right” moment (in the car, for example), sometimes I get a wall of silence. Other times I get lucky and stumble onto a real, if fleeting, moment of connection. But I never know what made the difference.

That’s exactly why Melinda Wenner Moyer’s new book, Hello, Cruel World: Science-Based Strategies for Raising Terrific Kids in Terrifying Times, hit such a nerve — especially her simple but profound advice: “Listen more than you lecture.”

At a recent SK Conversations event with Melinda, SheKnows Editor-in-Chief Erika Janes, and members of our SheKnows Teen Council, we explored what that really looks like — and what it takes to build better communication with teens who are not only juggling academic and social pressures, but navigating a world that often feels overwhelming.

Here’s what the experts (and the teens themselves) want parents to understand.

The Real Secret to Teen Communication? Timing, Tone, and Trust.

Let’s start with this refreshing honesty from Juliet, a 17-year-old member of our Teen Council: “I love a good dinner with my parents. Who doesn’t?”

If that made you breathe a small sigh of relief, well, me too. Despite the stereotype of teens wanting nothing to do with their families, our panelists made it clear: They don’t mind talking. They just mind how we do it.

“I’d say the main thing is sometimes timing,” said 17-year-old Greta. “I’ll be leaving the house, and my parents will suddenly remember a really important question they have to ask. … You’re really going to get the best answer if you ask at the right time.”

Ajani, 18, agreed — and shared his mother’s solution. “My mom has started asking me, ‘Do you feel comfortable talking about this right now?’”

This checks out with what Melinda emphasized in her research: Listening — truly listening — is more powerful than any script. It builds trust. It opens doors. And it encourages teens to talk more in the long run, even when they’re not prompted.

“Research shows that when people feel heard, they become more open-minded, more intellectually humble,” she explained. When you feel safe and truly listened to, she explained, your brain opens up — and that goes for teens too. That’s a powerful frame shift, because while it’s tempting to think parenting teens means making them listen to us, the real key might be us learning to listen to them first.

What Teens Really Want (Hint: It’s Not a TED Talk at the Dinner Table)

The truth is, most teens aren’t resisting conversation; they’re resisting control. And that distinction matters.

Greta admits that even though she isn’t a parent, she understands where parents are coming from — but she also wants parents to understand that sometimes the best thing they can do is give their teens space to make their own decisions … even if that sometimes means screwing up a little bit.

“It could probably be a little hard to see your kids make mistakes or get hurt, but I really do think that when I have, it’s made me a better person and it’s helped me grow,” she said. “And I think it’s really important to let us have our time … let us be able to make our own decisions without guidance sometimes.”

Juliet echoed that: “I kind of drifted apart from [my parents] when I was like 14, which I feel like is sort of natural. I think that’s just part of growing up. [But] as I’ve gotten older – 16, 17 — I’ve kind of drifted back to them,” she said. And while she doesn’t want her folks to be more friends than parents, she does prefer for them to talk to her from a place of connection rather than control — loosening that strict “I am the parent and you are the child” mentality we can so often find ourselves in.

“I like when we just talk, when they tell me stories from when they were my age. Some people don’t like that, but I do,” she said. “Just connecting with your child, seeing what interests your child and what interests you, and just sort of finding common ground.”

Rather than formal “check-ins” or parental interrogations (those tend to land about as well as surprise math pop quizzes), the moments of casual connection are where the best bonds are formed.

Melinda’s Rule: “Listen More Than You Lecture”

Melinda’s mantra isn’t about letting teens run wild; it’s about mutual respect. So much of our culture trains us to lecture, but when we stop and listen, we actually make more headway — with discipline, with connection, with everything. Teens who feel heard are more cooperative, more curious, more likely to admit when they’ve messed up, and more likely to seek help.

Even tough topics like screen time or mental health become more navigable when parents come from a place of curiosity rather than control.

When in Doubt, Delay the Deep Talk

If your teen just walked through the door or is midway through their third episode of whatever TV series they’re binge-watching this week, it might not be the moment for a heavy chat about grades or college. The topic is not going to be any less important later, when your kid’s had time for a breather … and it will most likely be much more well-received. Just take it from Ajani, who said his mom’s approach of circling back to a topic is “a super great strategy.”

“I feel like giving your child a little bit of space and then coming back to them has been really impactful for me throughout growing up,” he said.

And as Melinda reminded us, giving kids space doesn’t mean giving up. “Respecting their boundaries teaches them to respect others’ boundaries — and their own.”

The Payoff Is Real

When teens feel heard and respected, they open up. They reflect more. And sometimes they even — gasp! — initiate conversations on their own. Sometimes it takes a lot of patience and diligence on our end as parents, and maturity on their end as kids, so even if yours are still resistant, there’s light at the end of the tunnel once they get higher up in the teen years.

“As I’ve gotten older, certain things have not really gotten on my nerves anymore,” said Ajani. “At one point, I would be upset about my parents asking me about my day, but I feel like now there’s nothing wrong with that.”

Talk to them like people. Connect with what they care about. And don’t forget that they still like you — even if they don’t always act like it — so keep showing up.

TL;DR: How to Talk So Your Teen Will Talk

As much as it can feel like parenting teens means constantly walking a tightrope between staying close and letting go, Melinda’s advice — and our Teen Council’s candor — offered a welcome reminder (and, OK, a little bit of relief): They do want to talk. They just want to be heard first.

And hey, maybe that’s the real “talking point” we need to remember.

The teenage summer job: it’s an American rite of passage that once seemed inevitable, but now feels more optional than ever. In an age of competitive college applications, AP class overloads, and year-round sports schedules, many parents find themselves wondering: Should teens even have jobs anymore? Or is that idea just a dusty relic of our own teenage years — back when the only summer goal was to make enough money for gas, movie tickets, and Taco Bell?

The answer, like practically all other parenting decisions, is: it depends.

There’s no one-size-fits-all approach when it comes to teen employment. Some teenagers thrive with the structure and responsibility of a job. Others are already stretched to their limits with academics, extracurriculars, and mental health challenges. But as college admissions become more competitive and the job market tighter than ever, some families are rethinking the value of a paycheck and what it teaches beyond money.

So let’s break it down — the good, the bad, and the unexpectedly beneficial — with help from some career experts who know exactly what teens stand to gain (or lose) from clocking in.

The Resume Builder That Doesn’t Feel Like Homework

It’s no secret that college admissions and early job markets are increasingly competitive. That’s why Sam DeMase, a career expert at ZipRecruiter, believes summer jobs are more relevant than ever. “The job market is competitive, so securing a new role has become increasingly difficult for job seekers. That’s why standing out to employers is key,” she tells SheKnows. “When building a resume, internships, summer jobs, and volunteer work are all great sources to pull from. While summer jobs won’t guarantee future employment, they can provide teens with new, tangible skills that strengthen their resume and boost their college applications.”

DeMase also notes that these experiences are powerful self-discovery tools. “Taking on a summer job helps teens get an idea of what they’re good at and interested in pursuing later on. Trying different part-time jobs such as retail or customer service builds confidence and can ignite passion for a future career.”

Seb Morgan, Senior Career Expert at CV Genius, agrees — and emphasizes how early work experience offers concrete proof of important soft skills. “Each summer job can add to your resume is potential hard evidence of your reliability, motivation, and time management — qualities that employers look for when they review applications for teen jobs, internships, and entry level positions,” he explains. Especially in industries like marketing, customer service, or retail, Morgan says, enthusiasm and accountability matter more than technical knowledge.

And these early roles don’t just build resumes; they build resilience. Teens learn how to deal with disappointment (like not getting hired at their first pick), navigate tricky customer interactions, and adapt to different leadership styles. They also learn the importance of balancing work with rest — a lesson that’s crucial for lifelong burnout prevention.

A Crash Course in Life Skills

Whether it’s flipping burgers, lifeguarding at the local pool, or babysitting for neighbors, summer jobs give teens something school doesn’t always provide: a chance to navigate the real world.

From resolving customer complaints to juggling a weekly schedule, a part-time job exposes teens to the kind of responsibility that no worksheet can teach. They’ll learn to manage money, advocate for themselves, show up on time, and work alongside people they might not necessarily like. These are skills that translate to adulthood in a way no classroom can replicate.

Laurie Kopp Weingarten, President and CEO of One-Stop College Counseling, has seen teens explore a wide variety of jobs. “Is there a ‘perfect job’ for a teenager? There’s no ‘best job’ because it depends on the student, their personality, and their goals,” she says. “We’ve had students tutor at learning centers, work as busboys/hostesses/waitstaff. Some earn their Red Cross Lifeguarding Certification or Water Safety Instructor Certification and work at a pool, while others secure their Umpire Certification and work baseball games. Many of our teens have been employed at fast food restaurants, clothing stores, libraries, historical villages, dance studios, and amusement parks. And quite a few have even started their own businesses!”

Of course, the right job isn’t just about the duties — it’s also about the hours. “It’s important that they choose a job where the hours are manageable,” Weingarten advises. “We had one 16-year-old commit to working 60 hours per week during the summer — and she ended up hating the work. We typically suggest 20-40 hours per week during the summer (and no more than 10 hours per week during the school year, as academics should be the priority).”

Parents should also consider how much support their teen will need. Younger teens may require help filling out applications, preparing for interviews, and setting boundaries with managers. You might be coaching them through how to ask for a day off or what to do if a coworker makes them uncomfortable. These micro-moments are part of the big picture: raising an independent adult who knows how to advocate for themselves.

The Flip Side: What to Watch For

While a job can be a growth opportunity, it’s not without drawbacks. If your teen is already overwhelmed by academic pressure, mental health struggles, or extracurricular commitments, adding a job might do more harm than good. Some teens may feel pressure to work more hours than they can handle or to stay in a job that’s toxic simply because they feel like they can’t quit.

That’s why parental involvement — not micromanagement, but guidance — matters. Talk with your teen regularly about how they’re feeling at work. Do they dread their shifts or come home proud of what they accomplished? Are they managing their time well, or do they seem more tired and irritable than usual?

Watch for red flags like mood changes, complaints about unfair treatment, or declining grades. It’s okay to pull back, re-evaluate, and remind your teen that quitting a job (gracefully) is also a legitimate and valuable life skill.

Beyond the Paycheck: Other Meaningful Options

Some teens simply aren’t interested in working — and that’s okay, too. There are plenty of meaningful ways for them to spend the summer that still build character, skills, and self-awareness.

Maybe they want to volunteer, explore a creative hobby, attend academic enrichment programs, or build something entrepreneurial. Maybe they’re creating digital art, learning to code, or babysitting for family. Just because it doesn’t come with a W-2 doesn’t mean it’s not preparing them for adulthood.

The key is purpose. As long as your teen is spending their time doing something that stretches them — intellectually, socially, creatively — they’re on the right track. There’s no single path to becoming a capable, independent adult.

Final Thoughts: It’s About the Bigger Picture

A summer job won’t make or break your teen’s future. But it can be a powerful stepping stone.

It can help them understand who they are, what they enjoy, and how to navigate responsibility. It can provide a sense of independence, a boost to their resume, and even clarity on what they don’t want to do.

So the question isn’t just should teens have jobs. The question is: What kind of experience will serve this particular teen best right now? When you start from that place — and trust their instincts as much as your own — the answer usually becomes pretty clear.

In this thought-provoking conversation, based on her new book Hello, Cruel World! Science-Based Strategies for Raising Terrific Kids in Terrifying Times, Moyer shares science-backed, realistic, and surprisingly hopeful advice for navigating the biggest challenges modern parents face. From media literacy and technology use to emotional resilience, self-compassion, and inclusive values, she offers tools that are practical for today — and foundational for tomorrow.

The book is divided into three sections — Cope, Connect, and Cultivate — and the discussion touches on all three, offering parents a framework that feels doable even on the hardest days. Moyer is refreshingly honest about her own parenting journey with her 14- and 10-year-olds, and she approaches tough topics with empathy, humor, and clarity.

Throughout the event, moderated by SheKnows Editor-in-Chief Erika Janes, we also included insights from members of our SheKnows Teen Council, who weighed in on what they really need from their parents right now — and what makes them feel prepared for adulthood. Their honest input adds a powerful dimension, reminding us that the best parenting strategies don’t just come from the experts — they come from listening to our kids.

This is a must-watch for any parent feeling overwhelmed by the 21st century. Whether you’re in the thick of the teen years or just beginning the parenting journey, you’ll leave feeling a lot more empowered — and a little less alone.

Watch the full video now. You’ll be glad you did.

Right now, new pieces of legislation across the country are under consideration (or already in effect) that would bring immense harm to transgender and non-binary people, especially transgender and nonbinary youth. So when public figures step up and share their love and admiration for their non-binary and trans kids, it makes a huge difference. We’re spotlighting some celebrity parents who’ve constantly shown support to their transgender and nonbinary children, and you’re going to love what they have to say.

So many of these famous parents — like Jamie Lee Curtis, Dwyane Wade, and Gabrielle Union — have opened up and used their immense platforms to spotlight LGBTQ youth and the bravery of their children who just want to live their most authentic lives. Wade has even gone so far as to partner up with his transgender daughter Zaya to create Translatable, an online resource and safe space for LGBTQIA+ kids and their parents. There are also famous parents, like Cher and Marlon Wayans, who’ve gotten very candid about their own initial biases and worries as their children transitioned. Ultimately, there’s no denying how much these parents love their kids and want them to live their lives to the fullest.

As we remember the violence the transgender community faces — both physically and policy-based — take some time to read about these celebrity parents and the love they have for their kids.

A version of this article was originally published in Feb. 2024.

In a world where 11- and 12-year-olds are asking for multi-step skincare routines, it’s safe to say that beauty has become a central part of adolescence (lookin’ at you, Sephora tweens!). But beyond the bottles and brands, there’s something deeper going on: For many teens, beauty routines are about more than just looking good. They’re about feeling good, feeling in control — and figuring out who they are.

A new report from BCG and Women’s Wear Daily sheds light on teens’ relationship with beauty. The study surveyed more than 1,200 teens ages 13 to 18 across the U.S., along with 1,200 of their parents. In addition, another 700 Gen X and Millennial adults were polled to reflect on their own teenage experiences and provide insight into how beauty culture has evolved. The result is a fascinating portrait of today’s teen beauty shopper: informed, expressive, and surprisingly sophisticated.

Jenny B. Fine, Editor in Chief of WWD’s Beauty Inc., tells SheKnows, “What truly stands out in this research is how deeply engaged teen girls and boys are across all areas of beauty. Today’s teens are not just exploring — they’re shaping the category, with a surprising command of brands from CeraVe to Chanel and E.l.f. to Ariana Grande. Whether it’s skincare, fragrance, or makeup, their choices reflect both sophistication and range.”

And those choices are happening earlier than ever. According to the study, the average age for teens to begin skincare is now 12; for makeup, it’s 13; and for fragrance, just 11. This trend spans across gender lines, with both boys and girls becoming active beauty consumers at a younger age. Teen boys, in particular, are driving a surprising trend: 60 percent of them choose prestige fragrances over mass options, compared to just 25 percent of girls. (Their favorite brands? Ralph Lauren, Calvin Klein, Dior, Chanel, and Creed.) In a SheKnows survey of boys ages 13 to 19 conducted in summer 2024, nearly half — just over 46 percent — said they spritz on cologne every day, while only a small fraction (7 percent) reported wearing it rarely or not at all.

So what’s behind this early and growing interest in beauty?

For many kids, beauty routines serve as a small pocket of consistency in a chaotic world. Applying skincare before bed or choosing a signature scent before school can feel grounding. It’s a way to care for themselves when so much else feels out of their control. And in an age where online personas are curated as carefully as real-life ones, beauty becomes another tool for teens to express their identity.

Dr. Charlotte Markey, Professor of Psychology at Rutgers University and author of The Body Image Book series, tells SheKnows, “Sometimes grooming and beauty rituals are adaptive appearance investments – they are relatively low cost (financially, time, in terms of risk) and enjoyable.” (On the other hand, she explains, maladaptive appearance investments are costly in terms of time, money, the mental space they occupy, and the risks involved.)

According to Dr. Sanam Hafeez, NY-based neuropsychologist and Director of Comprehend the Mind, “Beauty rituals can serve as a meaningful outlet for teens to express their individuality, creativity, and even a sense of control during a stage of life that often feels uncertain. For some adolescents, applying makeup, styling their hair, or curating their skincare routine can offer a calming way to check in with themselves emotionally. These rituals can also help kids develop a sense of identity that’s rooted in self-care rather than appearance alone.” When parents approach these routines with curiosity rather than criticism, Dr. Hafeez tells SheKnows, they help normalize beauty as a personal and expressive practice— not a standard to be met.

Parents might assume it’s all about appearances, but for many teens, that moisturizer or perfume bottle represents something more personal. The ritual of applying skincare can feel soothing. The choice of a particular fragrance might reflect how they want to be perceived. Beauty becomes a language; one that speaks volumes about who they are … or who they’re trying to be.

Still, there can be a tipping point when interest in beauty becomes a source of more stress than empowerment.

Dr. Markey tells SheKnows that there may be a problem “when it detracts from other areas of a young person’s life — other areas that may be more conducive to developing self-esteem, like playing a sport, acting in a play, learning to play an instrument.”

Dr. Hafeez advises parents to watch for specific signs: “An interest in appearance becomes concerning when it starts to feel like a requirement rather than a choice, when a teen believes they need to look a certain way to be accepted, liked, or even feel okay about themselves,” she says. As an example, Dr. Hafeez notes, your teen might start to avoid social situations without makeup, obsess over perceived flaws, or experience intense anxiety about how they’re perceived. “In that case, it may be a sign that their self-worth is becoming too entangled with their appearance. Another red flag is when beauty routines shift from being enjoyable to feeling compulsive or driven by comparison, especially on social media. That’s when the focus has moved away from self-expression and into self-judgment.”

Dr. Markey cautions that rigidity can also be problematic — if your teen can’t let go and have fun for fear they’ll somehow mess up their looks, parents should take note. “Teens and tweens — and adults! — should be able to enjoy themselves without being so worried about their appearance that they are uncomfortable, afraid to get dirty (ever), etc,” she says.

The best safeguard to keep a healthy interest from sliding into an unhealthy preoccupation? Parents — we’re the first line of defense, folks. Beauty Inc‘s Fine notes the key role we can play in supporting healthy attitudes: “For parents, the takeaway is clear — beauty is a meaningful part of how teens express identity and care for themselves,” she says. “And while social platforms play a role, 44 percent of teens say they turn to their parents first. That opens the door for parents to engage in more thoughtful, supportive conversations around beauty and self-image.”

But how do we actually have those thoughtful conversations — and perhaps most importantly, how do we help them develop an internal sense of worth in a culture that puts so much emphasis on appearance?

“It’s important that kids learn that perfection is an illusion. No person is perfect. We aren’t perfect as adults, and they shouldn’t strive for perfection,” advises Dr. Markey.

Beyond that, the experts offered more helpful strategies parents can adopt.

Ask, don’t assume.

If your teen is suddenly into skincare or fragrance, ask them what they like about it. Their answers might surprise you. “Parents can start by asking open-ended questions that invite their child to share what they enjoy about their beauty routines, what feels fun, what makes them feel confident, what they like experimenting with,” says Dr. Hafeez. And as a bonus: “This frames beauty as a choice, not a necessity.”

Model balance — and critical thinking.

Kids absorb our attitudes about beauty and body image. Talking openly about your own routines (and your own insecurities) can help normalize imperfection. “Modeling some ‘in-between’ is probably the most effective thing we can do,” notes Dr. Markey.

And when it comes to what they see on social media, says Dr. Hafeez, pointing out unrealistic beauty standards and discussing how images are curated or altered can plant seeds of critical thinking.

Use the right language.

Dr. Hafeez suggests using language that centers on how something feels rather than how it looks. “For example, saying, ‘That color is really flattering’ or ‘You look like you’re having a great time today’ focuses on self-expression,” she says. “Sharing your routines as part of self-care can make the conversation feel mutual rather than corrective. Most importantly, remind them that who they are is always more important than how they look.”

Set age-appropriate boundaries.

It’s okay to say no to certain products or ingredients if they’re not age-appropriate — just be ready to explain why. “Social media can expose teenagers and young kids to products that might not be right for their skin type,” dermatologist-trained esthetician Shani Darden of Shani Darden Facial Studio previously told SheKnows. “It’s so important to do the research on the brands and products they’re interested in.”

Encourage intention.

If they want a new product because “everyone on TikTok has it,” explore whether they truly want it or just feel pressure to fit in.

Keep communication open.

The goal isn’t to discourage their interest in beauty — it’s to help them engage with it in a way that feels empowering, not performative.

Teen beauty habits may look different now than they did a generation ago, but the motivations behind them are often the same: the desire to fit in, stand out, and feel good in their own skin. As parents, recognizing the emotional undercurrent behind those habits can help us show up in more supportive, informed, and connected ways — but it should all start with letting our kids know they are so much more than their looks, as Dr. Hafeez reminds us: “When the family culture celebrates individuality, humor, and emotional honesty,” she says, “it becomes easier for kids to feel grounded in their worth.”

Even the pickiest teens will approve of these TikTok-viral makeup brands.

Like most parents, I used to think that if I made it through the sleepless nights and toddler tantrums, the tween mood swings, and the “please don’t drive like that again” moments (and there were plenty), my reward would be confidently sending my children out into the world — peaceful and secure in the knowledge that I’d prepared them for whatever challenges came his way.

But then I heard about “soiling the nest.”

It’s a phenomenon some parents experience when it’s time for their fledglings to spread their wings and leave the comfort of home. Your teen might start petty arguments, or get snippy if your eyeballs linger on them for a millisecond too long. It can be like those tumultuous early days of adolescence all over again, when the newly-surging hormones make their attitudes wildly unpredictable.

This whiplash-inducing behavior is what happens when teens — often unconsciously — start to push their parents away right before a big transition, like leaving for college. They might get moody, irritable, withdrawn, or downright combative. And while it can feel like they’re determined to make your final months together miserable, experts say it’s actually a coping mechanism for the big leap ahead.

“Soiling the nest sounds so dramatic, but it’s a normal (and weirdly necessary) part of adolescence. As teens prep for independence, whether it’s college, a job, or just more freedom, they start pushing boundaries hard,” says Zuania Capó, MHC-LP and member of the SheKnows Parenting Advisory Council. “It’s like some sort of an emotional bubble wrap: they’re creating distance so the big launch into adulthood doesn’t hurt so much. This might look like mood swings, eye rolls, or picking fights over nothing.”

It doesn’t help that the stretch of time between graduation and the commencement of future plans can be kind of nerve-wracking, which can translate into irritability. “Oftentimes the summer before college is a mix of exhaustion, excitement and uncertainty,” says SheKnows Parenting Advisory Council’s Ana Homayoun, author of Erasing the Finish Line. “Maybe the college application process went smoothly, or perhaps there were wait lists, deferrals, rejections and other disappointments that combine to create emotional depletion.”

Knowing there’s a term for this might help parents to feel slightly less unhinged, but it still hurts when your once-snuggly kid gives you an eye roll so hard you can practically hear it. Or when the kid who used to beg to hang out with you now acts like you’re ruining their life because you asked what time they’d be home.

But this emotional flailing is, in a way, its own kind of love. A weird, messed-up love that says, “I don’t know how to say goodbye, so I’m going to make it easier by making you mad at me.”

Capó tells parents that her best tip is not to react — no matter how hard they try to push you away — but to be the anchor instead. “Resist the urge to micromanage their emotions!” she says. “Teens are trying on different selves and identities like outfits in a dressing room. Some will fit; some won’t. Your job isn’t to control the chaos, it’s to be the calm in it. And when things get messy? That doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you’re the safe place they trust enough to unravel in front of. What a privilege that is!”

It helps to remember that this isn’t personal. It feels personal, because it’s your baby who’s suddenly acting like you’re the most annoying human on earth. But it’s not about you. It’s about them figuring out how to leave the nest, even if it means tearing at the twigs a little first.

“As parents and caregivers, it can be hard not to take it personally and to remain calm and consistent in the midst of so much transition for you as well,” says Homayoun.

So if your teen is suddenly driving you up the wall when all you want to do is soak in these final moments? You’re not alone. You’re not failing. You’re just living through a chapter nobody warns you about — the emotional mess that comes right before the empty nest.

“It’s wild to watch her push so hard against the walls of this home she’s about to leave, testing boundaries, slamming doors, rolling eyes,” says Laura K., whose 17-year-old daughter is preparing to leave for college. “We had a pretty big moment the other day, and I had to sit her down and remind her, through tears and love, that while she may be almost out the door, this is still her home — and respect still matters here. It’s hard, but I know this is part of growing up … for both of us.”

Anthony Damaschino, author of The Empty Nest Blueprint, reminds parents that this is a transitional phase, and that the process of letting go can start before their physical departure. “This is all about balance. The high school helicopter parent (guilty as charged) has to realize they need to let go, give their child space to make their own decisions, and manage their own lives,” he tells SheKnows. “Give them time to grow and find solutions on their own. This is a time to love and support them, and be there for them, but also back off the ‘daily-active parenting’ role. If the child is needy, it’s a time to let them solve their own problems and shift to depending on themselves. Try to trust in the values you have instilled in your child.”

Damaschino also has some valuable advice to help parents stay steady and connected with each other during an often-tumultuous time. “For the couple, there is a lot of attention on their child, including activities, celebrations, graduation, and preparations for moving out — but don’t forget that you have a spouse throughout all of this,” he says. “Family-centric/child-centric is admirable, but at the end of the day, you and your spouse will be together long after your child leaves. Don’t let your marriage drift.”

And if you’re tackling this parenting thing on your own, this transition period is more complex, says Damaschino: “For the single parent, this transition is more complex. Raising a child as a single parent is challenging. The emotional connection, reliance, and co-dependency can’t be ignored. A single parent needs support — friends, family, books — to get through this. This time is a single parent’s time to start focusing on themselves.”

Homayoun reminds us of the importance of leaning on others. “Parents and caregivers — make sure you are getting the support you need, and make sure your child has people who help them feel supported – even if they may be irritable and difficult to be around,” she says. “More often than not, they will reach out and be in touch far more once they are away, and allowing them to find their rhythm and develop daily habits and routines that support their overall wellbeing is key in this time.”

That’s why your job right now isn’t to fix everything — it’s to hold steady. To offer reassurance without overstepping, to quietly root for them while they practice pulling away. It’s messy and bittersweet and, frankly, exhausting — but it’s also part of the process. The more you can stay grounded, the more they’ll feel safe to wobble as they take their first real steps into the unknown. (Even if it’s hard when they’re treating you like the worst parent on earth.)

“It’s not about you being a ‘bad parent’ — it’s really about them figuring out how to leave the safety and belonging of home while still deeply needing it,” says Capó. “Don’t take it personally. Take a breath, stay steady, and know this storm usually passes.”

And until it does, if you’re crying in the laundry room or stress-eating an entire sleeve of Oreos? Well, that’s a perfectly valid coping mechanism.

The first time we placed our newborn in his brother’s lap, my oldest — only 3 years old at the time — counted the teeny pink toes peeking out from beneath the blanket, looking him over with an expression that I couldn’t quite read. I held my breath in anxious anticipation of how he’d react.

Finally, leaning close to the baby, he whispered his first-ever words to his brother: “Do you want some of my Skittles?”

I let out my bated breath in a sigh of relief. If the first thing he did was offer to share, maybe this was the beginning of a beautiful friendship — because everybody knows toddlers aren’t exactly world champions at sharing.

Of course, sharing isn’t always the norm. They’re both teenagers now, and we’ve since added two more brothers to their world, bringing the grand total to four boys (and a lot of squabbling). They wrestle regularly, tackling and pummeling, huffing and heaving, even now that nearly all of them are the size of grown men.

But like a storm cloud in a strong wind, any animosity blows over quickly, and I’ll find them moments later watching TV or TikTok in a heap, their physical closeness — leaning against each other, an arm draped over a back — reminding me of the way twins are entangled in utero.

They tease one another relentlessly, about crushes and taste in music and … well, everything, really. But if someone outside their circle of brotherhood dares to pick on any of these traits, they’re quick to jump to one another’s defense. They are evidently allowed to prey on each other’s insecurities — it’s what siblings do, after all — but no one else should even think about trying. Where one of his brothers is concerned, even the most non-confrontational of the bunch is quick to stand up for any perceived injustice.

The way they love each other overwhelms my heart, and always has. It’s one of them saving allowance for something special and then deciding to use it on a gift for his brother instead. It’s one of them comforting another after he gets in trouble. It’s sharing a snack they wanted to keep for themselves, or handing down a prized Pokémon card, or sending each other text messages that always end up with “love you”, or staying up late at night hanging out in one another’s bedrooms just talking. It’s doing all these things, even though they’ve all, at one time or another, proclaimed in a fit of annoyance to “hate” their brothers.

The best gift I ever gave my sons was the magic of brotherhood. But really, that brotherhood has been just as big as a gift to me. In their relationships, I see the kind of future I hope for them — where they lean on each other even when they’re all grown with families of their own. And I see a reassurance, even on days when I feel like I’m failing as a mom (and there are plenty), that something is going right.

Brotherly love is intricate and complex, and not even a whole novel’s worth of words could ever do it justice. Brothers are one another’s worst enemies and greatest allies. They are built-in playmates, and at other times, they’re sparring partners. They’re each other’s first best friend, learning valuable lessons about compassion, love, forgiveness, and compromise just by virtue of being brothers. And if you’ve been privileged enough to witness this bond, you know it’s deep and indestructible, wonderful and beautiful.

… Even if there’s some pummeling involved once in a while.

Teen slang has always been its own wild little ecosystem, but today’s Gen Z and Gen Alpha wordplay is evolving at warp speed, thanks to the internet’s hyper-powered influence. If you need proof, look no further than this gem we dug up from the SheKnows archives — a roundup of teen slang from 2018 which, these days, practically reads like an ancient manuscript (“Whatever you do, don’t go sliding into your teen’s DM. Bible, that’s a cringy AF way to try to figure out WTF your kid is talking about”). … LOL

TikTok trends, meme culture, gaming lingo, and group chat inside jokes all collide to create a slang stew that’s equal parts hilarious and head-scratching. And while it might feel like these kids are just inventing words to keep us on our toes (or out of the loop entirely), this language actually says a lot about how they connect, express themselves, and shape culture.

This glossary isn’t meant to make you cool (that ship sailed when you said “cool” unironically). But it will help you decode your teen’s cryptic comments, avoid embarrassing missteps (nobody says “cringy” or “sus” any more!), and maybe even share a chuckle with your kid instead of getting the dreaded side-eye.

Bookmark it, revisit it, refresh it. Like teen slang itself, this list is a living, breathing thing that we’ll be updating regularly — because we’re here to keep you (okay, and ourselves) up to speed … or at least slightly less confused.

For those who don’t know, Moore and ex-girlfriend Jesiree Dizon announced in early Jan 2023 that they were expecting their first child together. Mere weeks later, they welcomed their daughter Frankie into the world on Jan 24, 2023, breaking up approximately two years later. Still, they continue to melt our hearts with every sweet update on their daughter. (Dizon also has two children from previous relationships: a son named Kaiden and a daughter named Charli.)

Since becoming a first-time dad at 52 years old, Moore has been taking fans along the ride for all the firsts with his daughter Frankie: her first Halloween, her first word, her first birthday, and more. And he’s not stopping there! From sweet holiday posts to hilarious videos showing off her dance moves, Moore is showing everyone how happy he is to be Frankie’s dad!

(A version of this article was originally published in Oct. 2024.)

Below, check out Moore’s sweetest dad moments:

Stanky Leg (2023)

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Moore was giddy when he shared that Frakie mastered the Stanky Leg!

Frankie’s First Halloween (2023)

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Moore and Frankie twinned in dark costumes for “Frankie’s 1ST HALLOWEEN!!!! 🎃🤡👽👻😳😂 @jesiree ❤️”

‘Dada’ (2023)

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Remember when Frankie said “dada” for the first time, and they caught it on film? Precious!

She took me to the mirror and carefully compared our legs, pointing out how hers touched and mine didn’t — and since that day, I’ve kept careful tabs on the growing and shrinking of the negative space between my thighs. Four years later, it’s only gotten worse. Ever since I’ve found myself swept up in “SkinnyTok,” the stakes have become even higher: God forbid my thigh gap ever disappears. 

“SkinnyTok” and its other social media counterparts are the new faces of an age-old tradition when it comes to women and their weight. Society has had an obsession with our bodies for at least as long as there’s been media. In ancient times, women were sculpted; in medieval times, they were painted; in industrial times, they were stuffed into corsets; and in modern times, they are plastered on billboards and posted on our phone feeds. Recently, social media trends like SkinnyTok and Oatzempic have been gaining immense popularity.

SkinnyTok includes a wide variety of content, ranging from truly well-meaning diet and exercise tips to harmful content that preys on teen girls like me (and all the women whose bodies have been scrutinized their entire lives). On this platform, people share weight loss “tips” and their own journeys. Meanwhile, “Oatzempic” is a dietary hack; it means having oat-based diets, particularly blending oats with water and lime juice to promote weight loss. My FYP and algorithm know me well; I am a teen girl, and I see more than one of these videos a day. And it’s impossible for them not to infiltrate the culture around my eating and my friends. 

Prom is coming up, and just a few weeks ago, my friend told me that she was “prepping.” When I asked her to explain, she said that she was going on a run every day, and having only a protein bar and small dinner. I asked her how she got this idea, and she showed me a video on SkinnyTok. After watching the video that inspired my friend, I was hooked on this account. I scrolled through for an hour, looking at all this woman’s tips and tricks. And when I got up to look in the mirror afterwards, I was about twenty pounds heavier than I was twenty minutes earlier — or at least, that’s how it felt.

Most videos have pretty much the same message: Stories and hacks, often dangerous, on how to lose weight fast. Some videos are meant to serve as motivation. Just today, I watched a woman showing off her body on the treadmill, and the text over the video said, “Do it for the compliments. Do it for the jealous stares. Do it for the concerned looks.” Another video gives insight into how “skinny girls” live. “They view food as optional,” the woman explains, and then goes on to promote a type of jelly that has five calories and is as filling as a full meal — a jelly I tried for a few days before feeling like I was gonna puke.

Those sorts of videos make me feel gluttonous: The woman talking to me has no problem turning down food, and yet I feel as if I’m always stuffing it in my face. Even without an eating disorder, it’s difficult to look away from this content. I get up feeling the need to go to the gym or walk 20,000 steps or maybe skip dinner, and when I don’t do these things, I’m left feeling like a failure.

My friends and I share these videos with each other, spreading the content and falling victim to the perils. Thanks to SkinnyTok, my friends and I got the idea to count our calories in a shared notes app. Obsessively, I searched for the magic number attached to everything I ate during the course of any given day, and if my total got too high, it was time to call it quits. And yet no matter what I do, the message from the other side of the phone screen is clear: The “skinny lifestyle” is never going to be the one I’m leading, and my body is never going to look as good as theirs. 

Even without social media, the idea that girls can never be skinny enough would continue to infiltrate the teenage mind. But social media is particularly adept at spreading a message, and feeding into dark rabbit holes. Social media makes it all the easier to access this message and content; you no longer need to go looking for it, it finds you. It’s constantly in your face, telling you what you’re doing wrong and all the imperfections those wrong actions cause. 

To be sure, there are some truly helpful videos floating around the internet. I learned that, when I get a sweet tooth after dinner, it’s better to eat whipped cream and strawberries instead of ice cream; and I learned that portion control is always healthy, when done right. But most of what festers within trends around dieting never leads to anything good, because the line between healthy and dangerous is almost invisible — and the mind of a teenage girl is delicate, bordering on fragile, bordering on wired-like-a-booby-trap.

Social media is addictive enough, but content about food and weight is even more so. It’s hard to look away, and it turns into an obsession with just the slightest indulgence. What’s worse, too, is that we seek it out. Once one video on the subject pops up, we’re hungry for more. We want to be skinny, and we want to know exactly how to do it.  Everything talked about on SkinnyTok is like a carnival game designed to make us lose; if we girls don’t keep up with the diets and exercise, we surrender all of our progress. 

I wish I could go around eating whatever I want, whenever I want. And I know my friends do too, but society doesn’t allow for it, and social media keeps us in line. As if our own twisted consciences were not enough, we now have monitors in our pockets at every moment of every day, looking over our shoulders, inspecting our plates and our thigh gaps, and reprimanding us of our lapses. We are kids; we should be allowed the sweet indulgences of childhood. But instead, we’ve been tortured in our relationship with candy for almost as long as we’ve known just how good candy tastes.

Eating has always been a perilous equation for girls, but now — thanks to our phones — the equation has gotten even more lopsided against us. There is no way for us to go anywhere near the kitchen, or the refrigerator, without having to answer to our social media feeds. And as a result, our minds are as full of bad ideas as our stomachs are empty of meaningful calories.